before the fall out

first title was, before i saw the light, i will not change it’s repeati-on,

but that was before the fall out….its a long story-i also don’tquiet understand it

but here we go;

As Kenya prepared to eat my Njahi, the food you feast at childbirth, not the child

On the other side of the middle sea, Mediterranean as they call it,

sits one infant in style,

i tell this from the photos for i wasn’t there

neither was i here in this fullness of an illusion life we see today,

but i existed, was anticipated and waited for,

not that they knew who would pop up, a boy or a girl,

but they waited and waited and waited and eagerly so.

Meanwhile, in the summer mid that very year, before me but same very year,

on the same date that coincidence or otherwise would have me share,

someone-else had made it home, home to a smilefull mama,

home to the kisses and their bliss, the laughter and fun that mean okay, endlich!!

-even if the world is complicated, its okay, you are here,

even if the Berlin wall still stood, welcome to life,

not that the thought to be fateful wall or the middle sea or the freaking boarders would define who she would be,

what she would wish to do in life and how she would share smiles and happy moments,

and who she would interact with or not,

and who she would treat how or not,

no, not then, then she was not part of this complication,

just the smiles, the cries, the laughs, the stubbornness, the purity of life,

and by the way purity of a child that has no equal.

not even now, the crumble of the wall was good but the strength of the boarders surely answers it all,

even if the wall still stood, she would not be caged by it, she would be stronger and willed-this i fathom.

but this is not the story,

before i saw the light, what she did??


In her own mama’s words, not mine so i quote,

as she rightfully said it,

‘I was probably just sleeping, eating and pissing my pants.

Hahaha but I could imagine I learned how to smile..

…and I didn’t like the smallest crumb in my mash I nearly spitted.

It had to be smooth – without any glob my mom said”

well in her own words, before i saw the light.


She had probably forgotten about if she would crawl,

or kick the air in either celebration or protest,

or make mama share a moment of her sleepless nights in a game,

or a pissed off cry or anything that captures attention,

maybe because that’s the mama’s calling anyway,

but this i can bet is a story moms around the world can tell better,

and i bet every mother has hers in her own version, mine included,

but before i saw the light, someone else was already sailing through life,

and by the look of things, enjoying the daily breath it brought….

before i saw the light, so sad now, all i think about, is just a fall out…


I wanted to surprise somebody today and perhaps make a smile pop out of those dimpled chics


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