Ever forgot something you always carry with you? and then you realize what a prisoner of that thing you have been before this moment? well i have, and so free i felt when three days ago i forgot my phone while going out. I was in the company of friends having great times until i recalled that indeed i had forgotten it, worry kicked in as i thought of all the important calls that i had missed. Then came this logical thought, challenging all my thoughts to a duel. Mostly it was about this ”important” calls i thought i would miss, now how important? It was at around 2045 hrs who would call me with a lot of urgency- i mean me, i am not a doctor, not a cop, not a paramedic and sure as hell not working for somebody who considers me so important to call in an emergency(just kidding ja!)
And so great was the night. After so many years with this magnetic gadgets, i finally enjoyed a free from unwanted calls night! Okay to straighten things, i felt free because i knew for a fact that my phone was safe, if it had been stolen or lost then that’s a topic for a more distressful day.
After the great night of fun and beer comes the next morning. Such a time reminds of this swahili saying majuto ni mjukuu, and this was such a time when the payback for fun and beer is this terrible headache they call hangover. I try taking tea to at least treat it but after making my cup i look for sugar and shit! i realize that we finished all the sugar just last night before going out! So imagine black tea without sugar,well this is what i take, no, i have to survive by taking this,this morning. So if you have ever experienced such a situation, by now you know that this solution of mine doesn’t work right? Something else you should know is that even-though my friends also have hangovers, mine is the most terrible, i am the hangover champion around here.
So one of these friends decides to go shopping-see like i told you, his hangover allows him even to shop, mine only wants me to rest and endure. Meanwhile like i said i lay on the couch listening to this soft music, not really listening but letting it play as i suffer this distress,i switch of the phone to be so alone like i will die. Just me, myself and the soft music ( by the way even in this terrible hangover stance, i enjoy switching off the phone, its so freeing were it not for this headache!)
Jay-the friend whose hangover craves for shopping, comes back from the super market with among other things a lot of beer!Buda, dawa ya moto ni moto(bro, the remedy of fire is fire) he advices. take one for the road and your hangover is gone, he recommends. And i, like this stupid proverbial sheep agree and actually take not just one but one too many. He was right on one thing though, the hangover is long gone but in comes the drunkenness, its becoming so extreme now i think i am in autopilot now, my instincts are still intact but i can only do basic things, i don’t even know what time it is now but sure as hell its already late night, i did not go out the whole day. Yes another day indoors! and its summer?
Because i hate not having done anything for a whole day, i decide to watch an episode from Breaking bad, at least i will tell my kids in future that on this day i watched breaking bad right? or myself ? so i struggle to keep up with the plot but can’t, i feel sleepy and this couch is not the most comfortable place to sleep, i need to go to my room but before i finish this debate with me myself and i, its already too late, and its okay i will sleep here for ten minutes and then be less sleepy and go to bed(that’s beer advising poor me! good advice huh?) ten minutes means till ten in the next morning, and so it is.
So minutes after 10:00 Am, i wake up-ofcourse its the next day already, ja? I find myself in this strange place where i normally hate sleeping, some pain in my neck from this bad sleeping posture but that’s nothing as compared to this fever that engulfs me. I thought yesterday’s hangover was terrible, but maaan this fever is killing me. I feel like i would pay a 100$( by the way i meant euros but my computer has a very complicated euro sign i just never get it) to exchange this with a hangover, and this would be the a fair deal i swear! I cannot take liquor or anything related to it, damn even the smell or listen to the talk about it. i am so fed up that if i was a pastor in Jamhuri ya Kenya, i would advice the government to raise tax on alcohol-just like other pastors do! I feel so warm in this morning sunny place so i switch to the other side where the sun does not reach, damn ten minutes there and i am freezing, i am shaking i run for a pullover. After ten minutes with the pullover i am sweating like a heavy metal worker. Nothing is working for me. I am so weak and feel so feeble but my appetite is gone, i need to eat but my body doesn’t allow it.
Minutes later, just when i thought things could not get worse than they are, here comes diarrhea. I run to the toilet like a thousand times but every time is the same, some gas and small chunks of sticky mucus with saliva like bubbles. It feels so bad that this routine has to repeat itself without a definite pattern, so i can’t tell when next, i need to stay indoors just in case. I am feeling some relief though now that the phone is off, no outsider can disturb my otherwise distressed day.
My flatmates advice me to drink some herbal tea and so i take Kräuter tea, relaxing is also part of their advice plus the one that Clarice likes the most Don’t take alcohol any time soon. I agree, i am even ready to swear it in the name of mary magdaline( because nobody talks about her and she was important to christ-so says Dan Brown in Da vinci code, i disagree with him but in her name i swear. I also swear that the only drink that will go down this throat of mine is mango juice but then i recall that i am from banana hill and so maybe i should swear with banana juice, well whatever, i shut up run to this one place i have been visiting the whole day and just hope that this will be the last day to play prey to this party predator. Wish me luck buddies, because for sure i need it today but not on my already switched off phone, that’s the only freedom i enjoy! But i could also use freedom from toilet luck!