King of the road!

To kill the thrill before the start, its a she and not a he. I call her king and not queen for the same reason i drove back to Berlin by bus( she scares the shit out of everyone-including me, but all in the road!) In person, looks calm, spoke less, had the forced German half-smile-like many, but behind that cool normal face of tenderness is a highway king with a death wish.

In my recent travels around this highway rich country -maaan the German highway is superb and extensive, i have always seen crazy drivers squeezing the juice of what life can offer-no! what money can offer in their fast cars, and using every coin they spent on the expensive Benzin to make a point on the road! I can attest for a fact that 99.99% of all Porsche owners are crazy on the highway! i never saw one who went slow, anyway that aside the king of the road wasn’t even one of the 99.99% i spoke about.

Her drive of choice, Audi! don’t ask me the model, i didn’t check, i could have but after the heart skipping drive, all i wanted was to stay away from her, so far franked away! like here where i am sitting, thats why i am comfortably in my long distance to discuss what ensued.

We had been working in one of those small villages located somewhere 100 plus kilometers from Frankfurt A. M. After the job, we had to go to the secondary location where her ”boyfriend” was moving to. With our truck being loaded to the limit and the Combi having left 40 minutes before, also loaded to the core, she offered a lift to two of us and her boyfriend who slept after fastening his seat belt. cool.

At first, i liked the speed and later i thought it was getting more than we bargained for but cool! Soon after, i would start saying my last prayers in my mother tongue silently as the road started getting eaten up, then chewed sooner just swallowed like nothing i have never seen in my life. We were on a highway grave, and the devil on the wheel was this beauty who deemed it unnecessary to explain to us her suicide mission!Why we had to be part of it was beyond reproach!

Before this gaze with creators end game, i thought i had seen enough death wished drivers in Nairobi. Well forget them, the best they can do is a Toyota, Matatus are mostly their trade if they go far they go pro-box! Both of this with some limited speed, right? Well then don’t imagine them, they haven’t spent enough dimes on a real death wish drive, this blonde had!

So now that this lady had decided to put us on the bucket list under the certificate of urgency and by so doing without briefing us was just an insult to me, to the generations of my off springs that i curry on me. It would be an insult to mother nature as well, i mean she stood to lose all those debaters,poets, mathematicians, musicians, artists, architects and all the craziness that my crop type will print out! But this death wished blonde with half the German smile would think of none of this, she was busy stepping on peddle after the next and the last, changing lanes and scaring the shit out of our lungs. We were dead silent waiting for anything else inside but death!

She was in full concentration, we prayed for her to be so or else her shit was ours to choke in! An error in such alarming speed would end up with four body bags, four greased body bags, with me on one-i did not bargain for such, i was not in competition to see my creator and sure as hell i never went to buy an Audi to advance anybodies bucket time out! I wished she would have made some indication about her mission and maybe i would have been high before long, facing your creator while high would be better than this.

When i saw the sign Düsseldorf, and thats where we were heading, i indeed sighed with relief, first i was a live as i arrived, i thanked my creator for not letting me meet him this soon,and that we actually made it out with our hearts still pounding, my lungs had longed for fresh air and my anus needed to let go the tight grip that i and the other passengers had tightened in the fear of our smoked to be lives.

Come to think of it, i wonder why such a drive was not blessed with a traffic jam? This is the only time i would really appreciate and actually fall in love with a traffic jam!

After off loading the stuff, she offered me a lift to Berlin-like hell i would take it! Good that she was proposing to start off after two hours at the time, i told her my bus was due to leave in the next hour and lied that i already booked the ticket- i would rather sleep in a bus station than risk it all for a lift again!

What i did not tell her though was that, i plan to be a father before i die and that some crazy king of the road death wished beauty was not going to take that wish away from me, not with a lift, not with a kiss damn not on the free way! From now henceforth, i will never complain about the snail like speed of the BVG buses, better slow but sure!




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