looking at myself on this mirror

As i look at me, and i am thinking of how the next two hours will be.

Of how the party will spoil my health,

of how my liver will have to work hard to detoxify this toxic liquid out of me

and only that i went for it, i bought it

because i feel less sorry about my health

because the anger she caused when she left is more toxic than the bottle

because as i look at myself i don’t see me

 

i can not recognize what i see

but its not me!

i used to be ambitious……..remember?

but what i see has no ambition!

the bottle broke it!

 

i need it to break!

somebody smash it against the wall!

its my will but i still have no will tokill it!

it has to be broken but by who?

this circle is recurring. somebody change it

somebody who?

me? not me! but it has to be me!

why?…wait a minute..does it have to be me?

 

looking at me in the mirror

(question mark, question mark???? right left and center question marks???)

question marks all over my face???

why? but why? why but? no not butt! but…. why?

 

i look at me more!

i smile…. ha! i am a guy!

the same guy! me!ha!

imagine i was lost but now i am back

back to my sensess

back to reality

and back to the world of stress!

yes! i am back! somebody switch the music!

i dance! i chat! i breath in ..i breath out

Damn! i am back!

its me and i am ready for action!

i damn know it and yes! its me …its me again!

 

i feel so free to make my own decisions!

yes i do!!

alcohol take less than 1% of my dream and i will spank you right there

in those bootylicious buttocks! spank!!

 

yes i am back to the world where i think!

the place where i reason

the state where i take things seriously and i am taken like wise!

huh! its a joke!

i am never serious

but i am back! being sober feels free!

the world is mine to take…head on!

i am back and as i look at myself, i feel so sorry at me that i was lost

that i was gone! but sorry never helps!

i feel proud to be back!!

as i look at myself!

i am back!

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s