I am not sure..

Staring out my window,watching the grey that was the day,today.

After learning at around 1600 that today was indeed a holiday,damn! i didn’t know!

i must have come from mars, or pluto or far away from here, who on earth fails to know such things?

well me!

 

i am now thinking about only one thing,i am lost, just not sure about anything,

the onlything i am sure about is that i am not sure!

 

How did i get there? i had a grip at matters life just minutes ago.

i had a compass pivoting my direction. Not now, not sure when

just not sure. And sure about it

 

The confusion is intense that even the spellings of not so sure seems to engulf me in the same stance

the unsure stance!

i will speak my unsure mind out but i am not so sure how

or to who and how they will react to it.

i mean i am not sure if they will listen to me or send me away

or if they will listen to me and pity me, or just be speechless

or laugh at me in their feigned silence

or listen to me and act in pity but gossip about it in my back

i just can’t be sure about these and other stuff.

 

the only good thing about not being so sure is the fact that you are sure you are not

and that you get to view the world illogicaly, naked as it comes

and you learn that the only sure fate is death

And that ‘unsureness’ of life is what makes it worth living.

 

Its what keeps us waiting for that appointment that we made and prepare for it

surely if we knew the out come forehand then there is no reason for preparation.

 

i love not being sure because i love life and all the unsure things it presents

Joy, range, rave, success, love and most importantly life are all unsure things,

and even if you surely gain them or control over them, you are not sure for how long

i long to be sure one day but today as i gaze at this grey i am not sure!

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