Steve, not me.Another, is the love of Your life.You met him while you were still engaged to Mike, and seriously engaged.On the spot, you liked him, Mike did not! You adore him but this did not stop you and Mike fro announcing the big event, the wedding! this may be the reason why you are coming to terms with the world that you got yourself to, and perhaps thats why you try hard, but fail, to explain to yourself this complex matter.”Why you love these steve secretly but you are married to Mike, and publicly so!”
Your parents love Mike to the core of their hearts. They think he is perfect, sent from heaven for you. He comes from a well up family, the more reason to like him. They shut you at times if you complain about him and in their dictionary of words, there is no bad a** word that can be used with mike on the same line. You know this.Thats why you use all the good words to mean bad stuff! the reason in your dictionary of description there is at least the good kind of a** shit words. And he is printed all over it with a block red highlight!
Your parents love to piss you off, in their unending invitations for dinners and the countless family events that of late you have to endure.They seem to think this makes you happy, in fact they do not think, they believe! But mostly, and this could be why they like the guy, Mike,they feel he keeps you in check.Taking care of you, keeping you busy from yourself. The you that they do not like. The you that views the world in an inverted way, asking unnecessary questions and fighting unending wars which they feel are not yours.That you, that mike agrees with them should be dealt with and tamed.Because you need help and he is there perfectly to offer that. The more reason you feel he is bad a** and getting distanced from your real world. he does not listen to you. He thinks you are wrong most of times and he is beginning to sound right for everybody but you.
You feel you are becoming a nuisance to him just like you are to many around you. You do not talk even on parties noways for speaking your mind is hurting peoples ear drums. And this Steve dude seems to have the only ear drums that survive unhurt.You do not like it,where the world seems to drive you. You know you are in for a dive. But inside you know, you can bite the bullet and face the world. Not a perfect thing but perfection was not human, it was man made many years after humanity, and its never that perfect anyway!
The other day you learnt that your folks and the people close to you actually know who your husband is( an asshole) They just think he is the good one. Like a bulldog, they use him to bulldoze you.Their filthy job, check. Their family values, intact. The photo poses and tradition, in line. His gift. You, the whole you. A generous reward indeed.
You have the cards, you hold them by your chest and perhaps thats the only results you will ever get, no progress.Just hear breaks and breaks in life. But you have a choice, even if the choice is a dive.You do not have to deal with the results of other peoples expectation, because they are not you. Life is too short for you to be perfect for them. The space you make will be respected once you stand clear and tall in it, even if you seem wrong in a sea of right people. So Amanda, you have my answer on whether to take a dive!