- For starters, this has nothing to do with chickens( so,Jojo,no worries.I know you like chickens, it would be a misdeminor to misuse their name right?) By the way african kienyenji (indigenous)chickens are known for their agression especially Jogoos (cocks).Infact Jogoos are not just famous for their polygamous life style but also for their nerve, their gut and their agility to stand up against the biggest of the threats.They don’t care about the size of their opponents but they never backdown to be bullied around by anybody, not even other fellow bigger Jogoos, hats off for them!
- You can never keep two of them in the same penn, they will eat all your eggs and kill each other in a firce fight after.Jogoos are cool,thats why i like them alot especially when roasted by a cook who knows what he is doing.NB and that doesn’t include you Jimmy, Flexx, Peter and Froggy, you are such pathetic cooks and you know it.So now we all agree to let the truth dictate the terms, right buddies?
- So that put to rest, we all know that i like and respect these polygamous kukus(Jogoos), and that their roast meat is somehow the best especially when not made by the guyz named above-they were actually banned by the cooking society in kenya and Tanzania respectifully(the yet to be established german society will sure as hell review such cases in future-i might also be one of the casualties,you know the people who get warned never to be seen making food for more than one person-yourself!).So this is not about them, and has nothing to do with them otherthan the name.Period!
- About this day(our story begins) i was going to finally prove to some pervarts that i was more than shouting my brothers name when in trouble(my big brother’s name meant instant badass help, it was perhaps the scarest asset i used in my childhood-a weapon of mass destruction.And yes i can say this with authority because i know he is not going to read it!).
- It was on a thursday, a day before closing day-by the way the week ahead of closing day used to be so freaking chaotic.loads and lots of bullies just sprout from God knows where and were making threats to funga school with you( this simply meant kicking your ass big time in closing day! you had to better be scared if you were small like me, worse case scenario was, if you did not have a big badass brother-luckyly this i had, my friend Froggy didn’t-i wonder how you survived?) So on this day as i went about my routine in a closing day week routine meant just chatting with buddies, drawing some awesome cartoons, refusing to attend mars(by hiding in those old halls with cornflakes) and escaping for a hot lunch at home,making it to the noise mackers list times 6 or seven(hehehe Flexx and Yellowman, were the reason i made it there, telling me crazy stoneage stories, with yellowman’s Millitary tales and drills that never were)The old good days!
- I forgot to mention, making it to the noise makers list meant you had to fetch water, extra. It was a good thing because it meant going out of class and to the river which was so far down the hill-mind you there waere two huge tanks in school but we were forced to get water from the stream in the sloopy black-cotton soiled hill. Black-cotton soil is so sticky when it rains, the shittiest thing that could happen.
- At first we had a great chat on this day, got our names on top of the noise makers list and thats how we ended up going for water as the rest were in class doing what used to be called revision-that never was.On the way back with my two Jerrycans comes this two bullies, both of them a class higher. it turns out they also had made it to their list just as we had, but unlike us they were so lazy to go down the sloppy shitty hill to fetch some water.”weka hapa!”Ordered Yukufu, one of the huger bullies, placing his half dirty bucket on the ground.Shit! this can’t be happening. I did not go down that freaking sloppy hill just to be bullied back again-thats me in my head, Kim seemed to be thinking of the same. “No! we will not give you our water!” Flexx said, trying to play tough but placing us in harms way indeed.” shut up! i will kick your tiny ass if you don’t!” roared the other, if this was meant to scare me, then it was succeding by all means.I juggled with the thought of giving in to the threat, but no way! the second thought was kicking the hell out of the water jerrycans then we would all lose water and they would have to swallow me after all water was gone.This was indeed not the best idea but if we are going down hill, they might aswell join us!my third option was a no go zone, i looked around and saw some wood and twigs and thought of grabbing one to even the score, to make us equal because those boys were so freaking big!
- My thoughts raced, i had not yet decided which of the three ideas was the most applicable. “thats Sharks bro over there!” shouted a voice from above, i later learnt it was Nyagah(hehehe shares the same name with an ostrich). “What? get the hell out of here you mama boyz!” Ordered Yakufu in a mixture of range and frustration. As we left i wanted to tell him ” its not mama boyz, you assh*** its you getting served!” or something bad ass, but i recalled that a minute earlier this bully was ready to eat my heart for lunch and so i chickened out.If they ever ask you Flexx, maan i did not let you guyz down, i just chickened out.But that will never happen again! Not now, not ever, enjoy your sunday!!